Firstmed Blog

Every year, millions of people around the world confront a life-threatening illness or aquire a disabilty and survive. What follows for them is a physical and emotional roller coaster of treatment and coping. Often, the most difficult adjustment involves sexual activities. People with a disability or living with an illness may wonder whether they can have children, if their partners will stay with them, if anyone will find them sexually desirable, or if they will ever enjoy sex again. Sexual-esteem or positive regard for and confidence in one’s ability to experience sexuality in a satisfying and enjoyable way, may be shattered for a person with a disability. People tend to make assumptions about people with disabilities that have no bearing on reality - or their humanity. Even though there are those who believe that disabled people should not want to be sexually active, this is not factual because people with disabilities still long to be touched and loved just like a person who is totally healthy. Contrary to the opinion of mainstream society, people who suffer from disabilities are still able to enjoy pleasurable sexual experiences.

Many disabled people experience a lack of information as well as significant distress and anguish around their sexual and personal relationships. An important first step back to a rewarding sexual relationship involves communicating openly and directly with partners, doctors and other health care professionals. This is not always easy, however. People often have trouble discussing sexual issues or simply feel lucky to be alive and, therefore, as if they don’t have the right to “complain” about changes in sexual functioning.

Many assume, incorrectly, that sexual intimacy is no longer possible due to sensation loss in the genitals. As a result, some may decide to ignore sexuality issues because they believe they no longer apply to them; others will seek out any opportunity to restore sexual-esteem. Questions, concerns, and feelings of anger about our sexuality are natural after disability or illness.

Almost everyone can enjoy sex in some way or other, regardless of their disability. To find out what suits you and your partner can take experimentation, imagination and above all, learning to feel comfortable with your own image of your body and your desires. If you want to suggest new ways of having sex to your partner, it is important that you bring it up in a way that doesn’t make them feel awkward. Wait until you are both feeling relaxed and sexy. You may find your partner is more willing to try new things than you had realised.

There are no positions specifically for disabled people, only a huge number of positions for you to try and see what you like. If you are trying something for the first time, take it slowly, see how you feel and check if your partner is having a good time. If you feel uncomfortable or find there is too much pressure on your body, switch position. Be sure you both take responsibility for yourselves and set out to enjoy. Penetration is not essential to have a good time, and it doesn’t have to be deep for both partners to find it enjoyable. To begin with find sexual positions which do not cause a great deal of strain to maintain a low level of physical exertion. Perhaps the most comfortable and relaxing position of all is the T position. The woman lays flat on her back while the man lays perpendicular to her, facing her on his side. He straddles her leg furthest from him and enters her softly. This position not only reduces stress, it allows the couple to see one another.

If you are worried about your sex life, or can’t find a way to overcome the sexual problems which are interfering with your happiness, the first step should be your GP. Your GP should know whether you need practical information, medical help or relationship therapy. Sex therapy is always informal and helpful. It helps couples out of their sexual wilderness into a garden of adventure.

A British Crime Survey published in 1999 showed that men were as likely to have been assaulted by an intimate partner as women. Years later the common view remains that men are the most likely abusers. It also seems that the perception remains that when a man is beaten by a woman it’s comical. Having suffered domestic violence myself, I’m clear on the fact that it’s not funny.

However abuse manifests, be it physical, emotional or mental it rocks our self esteem. For me, it tore great big holes in my confidence, it made me withdraw from life to the extent I became reclusive.

For a time I also became dependant on the abuser. More than anything I wanted their approval. I wanted them to appreciate me or something I’d done. But that approval never came. That made me try all the harder. Still it never came. I began to feel inadequate as a human being, then later as a man.

On one occasion I was caught unawares when her temper flew out of nothing and she caught me unawares. That day she hit me repeatedly. I collapsed, legs paralyzed, unable to move. She was in a foul temper. Her eyes were bulging, mouth snarling and fists clenched. I realized, as I sat in a heap on the floor, that there was nothing I could do if she wanted to kill me.

That day, even if I had the strength, I wouldn’t have struck her back. I was brought up with a little courtesy - men don’t hit women - but of course I would have protected myself… if I could.

Without doubt I also loved this woman. I also knew I didn’t deserve to be treated this way. I knew I shouldn’t have been in the relationship, but once again she won me over with her remorse and what I genuinely believe was a realization that she shouldn’t behave in this way.

After this event I knew I needed help, but to seek help seemed disloyal to my partner. And let’s be honest I couldn’t really admit what was happening to me. I couldn’t walk into a doctor’s surgery and say my partner keeps beating me up. I couldn’t tell my friends I didn’t have the guts to leave. I couldn’t tell my family that I was hurting more than ever.

On one occasion I called the Samaritans - at least that was anonymous. Then one day I cracked. I went to see a holistic therapist. She knew my body was in pain and asked me a few questions. That was the day I let the cat out of the bag and began to find some support and enough personal strength to say to myself, Yes I love this woman, but I’m not going to be her victim any longer.

It’s hard enough to ask for help when you get abused, but especially hard for us men, who believe we’re too strong to be beaten. But the truth is it happens to us as much as it happens to women.

The sons of mothers who eat beef frequently during pregnancy have been found to have lower sperm counts than those of mothers consuming less beef, a study from the US has found.

The study, published in the Human Reproduction journal, discovered that 18 per cent of the men whose mothers had eaten the most beef of those surveyed had sperm counts classed as ’sub-fertile’.

Just five per cent of the offspring of mothers who ate less beef had sperm counts in this category.

No connection was found to exist between the men themselves eating beef and the quality of their sperm. Nor were links made between the mothers’ intake of other meat products, reports Medical News Today.

The tests were conducted on men born between 1949 and 1983 since it was at this time in the US that mothers would have had difficulty avoiding beef containing chemical additives and hormones.

The researchers have suggested the same experiment be carried out on men living in countries where hormones are no longer permitted in cattle rearing. This would help determine what it is about beef that has affected sperm count among men.

A NATURAL form of Viagra and other ancient herbal remedies used by Chile’s Mapuche tribe are growing in popularity and fuelling a reawakening of interest in the country’s indigenous culture.

The country’s largest native ethnic group, the Mapuche have long used a wide variety of herbal remedies for everything from arthritis and acne to lack of libido.

One of the most popular, palwen, which is known as “Mapuche Viagra”, was snatched up by enthusiastic tourists attending a local song festival earlier this year - they exhausted supplies in the port town of Valparaiso.

The Mapuche, whose name means people of the earth and who live mainly in the Temuco area of southern Chile, are famous for their fierce resistance to the Spanish conquest. Their modern-day population is relatively small.

Indigenous culture has not been as influential in Chile as in other Latin American countries. However, the popularity of herbal medicine has made many Chileans reclaim a part of their Indian heritage.

“A year ago, I discovered Mapuche medicine and it’s worked. I’m now being treated for arthritis. I use it to complement the medications my doctor prescribes,” Aurora Navarrete, a 59-year-old housewife, said.

The natural remedies got a boost four years ago when the Mapuche took over the administration of the Maquehue hospital in Temuco and set up a pharmacy project using doctors working alongside Mapuche healers called machis.

The machis set up traditional Mapuche wooden huts in the hospital grounds so patients could opt for Mapuche remedies as well as modern medical treatments, with many taking advantage of both.

The herbalist pharmacy - called Makelawen and owned by Herbolaria de Chile (Herbalists of Chile) and a Mapuche trade organisation - has spread across the country, growing from one outlet with 50 clients to seven pharmacies, including four in the capital, Santiago.

Oclida Millallanca, 28, a Mapuche woman in traditional dress wearing the signature crown of silver coins draped across her forehead, tends the Makelawen pharmacy in central Santiago. “I’m like a psychologist. People tell me about their problems, their physical and spiritual complaints. People trust Mapuche wisdom,” Ms Millallanca said as Mapuche music played in the background.

The Makelawen venture does not look like a threat to Chile’s retail pharmacies, which are dominated by three big chains, but it is gaining followers.

“My children and I use this type of alternative because it’s more natural,” Liliana Dorival, 56, a housewife, said. “I have different varieties of these medications - they’re good.”

Makelawen now offers nearly 50 products, which are sold as liquid tinctures based on plant extracts. At about £1.90 a bottle, they are cheaper than most conventional medicines.
People who would not be beaten

THE Mapuche are famous in South America for resisting the Spanish conquest.

In 1641, Spain signed a treaty recognising the Mapuche as sovereign and autonomous after failing to defeat them in battle. It was the only time a European power formally recognised an indigenous people on the continent.

However, in the mid-19th century Chilean and Argentine troops carried out military operations and about 100,000 Mapuche were killed. Land was confiscated and the Mapuche were forced to live on reservations.

Through policies of assimilation, failed attempts were made to destroy their religion, culture and language, according to campaign group Mapuche International Link.

In recent years the Mapuche have been campaigning for the return of their lands and demanding that the 1641 treaty should be recognised.

It is thought there are a million Mapuche in Chile and more than 250,000 in Argentina.

Sexual boredom is not an inevitable a part of growing older. Many couples don’t realize that their lovemaking routine may be a source of the boredom. Some older adults may find that sexual positions that they had used when they were younger are no longer comfortable. This can be a good excuse to try new sexual positions.

The following guide looks at some positions for sexual intercourse, including variations. For instance, you may find that even the tried-and-true missionary position takes on new excitement when you experiment with variations as simple as altering the position of your legs or torso. As you and your partner experiment, tell each other what feels good and what doesn’t. Be honest, be sincere, and be open. Above all, enjoy.

The Missionary Position (Man on Top)
Probably the most popular sexual posture in Western culture, the missionary position can be extremely satisfying for both sexes. And it offers a surprising array of opportunities for variety. One reason for satisfaction is the intimacy this position offers. You are facing each other, allowing for lingering kisses and full contact along the length of your bodies. The woman can stroke her partner’s back and buttocks; he can lower his head to kiss and suck her breasts. Usually in this position, the woman has her legs wrapped around her partner’s hips or bent, knees up, at either side of them. She can spread her legs wide or keep her thighs pressed together for added friction as she receives his thrusts. Or her partner can try kneeling before her as she lays suppine with her legs spread and knees up, a position that might be eased by placing a pillow under her hips. This variation allows him, or her, to touch her clitoris during lovemaking.

The missionary position doesn’t allow for a lot of clitoral stimulation, so it’s not the best for female orgasm — unless you vary it a bit. The coital alignment technique, or CAT, puts the male groin in closer contact with the clitoris. Instead of propping himself up with his arms, the man lies with his body resting atop his partner’s and positions himself farther forward than usual between her legs. That way, the base of his penis presses against her clitoral area during penetration. In this variation, instead of male thrusting, both partners move their pelvises together with gentle, rocking motions.

If it’s deeper penetration you want, the woman can try aligning her legs along the man’s torso while tucking her knees upward until they are inside his armpits. For even deeper penetration, she can swing her legs over his shoulders before he begins thrusting. This is enjoyed most by women who are very limber — and the man should keep in mind that gentle thrusts work best.

Woman on Top
Also known as the “female-astride,” this is considered the easiest way for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse alone. Kneeling or lying on top of her suppine partner, she can control the speed, rhythm and angle of penetration in a way that arouses her most. She can move her pelvis against her partner’s so that her clitoris rubs against his pubic bone — an effective way to trigger an orgasm in some cases. Or, with her torso raised so that she is sitting on her partner, she (or he) can touch her clitoris by hand while he is inside her. This position can be a revelation for couples who have only made love missionary-style. Besides giving the woman an opportunity to control the physical action and increase her chances of coital orgasm, it also offers the man a chance to lay back and enjoy what his partner is doing. For many older men who have spent their adulthood believing it is the male’s responsibility to take charge of his partner’s pleasure during sex, letting go of this notion can be quite liberating and stimulating. He may be surprised to discover just how exciting it is to let his partner take control.

The X Position
From the woman-on-top position, you can move easily into this variation, in which both partners lean back and face each other, pelvises interlocked. The X-position gets it name from the fact that the couple’s connected bodies resemble that letter. Here’s how: Once you are in the female-astride position, with the woman facing her partner, she lies back with his penis still inside her until each partner’s head and torso is between the other’s open legs. Clasping each other’s hands for balance, move your hips together gently and slowly. Comfort notes that this is an excellent position for leisurely lovemaking because its “slow coordinated, wriggling movements” are conducive to keeping the man erect and the woman “close to orgasm” for prolonged periods.

“Spooning” (Rear-Entry Sideways)
Of all the positions for sexual intercourse, this is the gentlest. It not only requires less exertion but also is easiest on the back, the hips and other joints. The woman lies on her side with her back to her partner. He lies alongside her and enters her vagina from behind. In this position, the woman’s back rests against her partner’s chest as her buttocks press against his pelvic area. He can kiss her back and neck, fondle her breasts and belly as he thrusts. Also within easy reach are her clitoris and mons (the sensitive mound of flesh over the pubic bone). Getting into position may be tricky: If the man has trouble inserting his penis from this angle, his partner can bend forward at the waist to make it easier for him to penetrate. Once penetration is accomplished, the spoon position is smooth sailing. It allows both partners to make love without either having to support the other’s weight, so it is good for those times when you both feel a bit tired — but not too tired to make love. It also is a particularly good position for those who suffer from back pain or arthritis. If knee pain is a problem, small pillows can be placed between the knees to cushion those joints. Conducive as it is to relaxed lovemaking, spooning also allows for more vigorous thrusting if that’s your mood.

Sideways Face-to-Face
In the sideways face-to-face position , you and your partner lie facing each other, legs intertwined. Think of this position as spooning in reverse. Some couples may not feel comfortable having prolonged intercourse in this position because it puts more stress on the back and hips than does spooning. But if you feel like changing positions, you can easily roll over into the missionary without having to pull apart and reconnect. Or, you can start out in the missionary and switch to the sideways position. It is not easy to manually stimulate the clitoris while making love in this position, but there are plenty of other advantages. Both partners have equal freedom of movement and can match each other thrust for thrust. You can move your torsos away from each other to achieve deeper penetration, enjoy lingering kisses, and stroke each other’s back and buttocks. This face-to-face position has a friendly aspect that many couples enjoy.

Sitting
Whether you do it on a firm mattress or a comfy chair, this can be an exciting change of pace from horizontal lovemaking. Choose a well-cushioned chair that is secure enough to support your combined weight and wide enough so that neither of you feels cramped. Then, one partner sits in the chair and the other gets on top. This position is much easier if the male is the seated partner. With the man seated, she straddles his lap, either facing forward or away from him. She can then move up and down or back and forth with him inside her. Facing him, she can maneuver herself so that her clitoral area rubs against his pubic bone, increasing her chances of orgasm. If she faces away, he can still touch her breasts and her behind. He also can reach around to play with her clitoris. Either way, the non-seated partner does most of the “work” because the seated one has little freedom of movement. Someone with back trouble would be most comfortable as the sitting partner, using a small pillow to support the lower back. You can also try this in bed with the woman on top. With a pillow behind him for support, he sits with his back against the headboard, legs extended flat out and slightly parted with her kneeling above. As with sex in a chair, the woman is the active one.

We are all sexual — from birth to death. When we decide to have sex, we want it to be satisfying — whether we are women, men, intersex or transgender, married or single, young or old, straight, lesbian, gay, or bisexual. Enjoying our sexuality is a normal, natural part of life. Most people have taken risks when they have had sex — risks that include getting sexually transmitted infections. People take so many risks that up to one out of two get an infection some time in their lives. The risks people take can be dangerous. Many sexually transmitted infections can:

* last a lifetime
* put stress on relationships
* cause sterility
* cause birth defects
* lead to major illness and death

If you do find that you have contracted a STD, it is important to contact ALL previous and current partners. As you do not know how long you have had the disease (as it might have been dormant for sometime) and also you do not know if they have already got the disease. It is imperative that all sexual partners must undergo an STD check. Unfortunately, many people consider having STIs to be a moral issue. The stigma and shame some people feel because of this may lead them to neglect taking good care of their sexual health. Please don’t let embarrassment be a health risk for you. Speak frankly and openly with your clinician about your sex life and your sexual health concerns.

Safer sex is anything we do to lower our risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection. It’s about getting more pleasure with less risk. Three Steps to Safer Sex:

1. Become honest with ourselves about the risks we take.
2. Decide which risks we are willing to take — and which ones we aren’t willing to take.
3. Find ways to make our sex play as safe and satisfying as possible.

The most important ways to reduce your risk are:

* Keep your partner’s body fluids out of your body — vagina, anus, or mouth. The body — fluids to be most careful about are blood, cum, pre-cum, vaginal fluids, and the discharge from sores caused by sexually transmitted infections.
* Don’t touch sores or growths that are caused by sexually transmitted infections.
Safer sex also means protecting your partner.
* Don’t allow your body fluids to get into your partner’s body.
* Don’t have sex if you have sores or other symptoms of infection.
* Have routine checkups for infections.
* Get the correct treatment if you become infected.

Diabetes-related erectile dysfunction is caused by a defect in the nitric oxide (NO) mechanism in a part of the brain called the paraventricular nucleus (PVN), a U.S. study finds.

The PVN, located in the hypothalamus, plays a role in many functions, including penis erection and sexual behavior.

Sexual dysfunction is a common problem in men with diabetes. This study offers new information about the association between diabetes and erectile dysfunction and may help improve treatments, said researchers at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha.

After a series of experiments with rats, the researchers concluded that erectile dysfunction in diabetes is due to a defect in the NO mechanisms within the PVN. This defect is the loss in the synthetic enzyme for the production of NO within the neurons of the PVN. Restoring production of this synthetic enzyme may benefit diabetic patients with erectile dysfunction.

The findings are published in the March issue of the American Journal of Physiology - Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology.

Source: Health Central

John was unhappy when he heard his wife was pregnant. He didn’t want the child because he thought it would ruin his untroubled life. He didn’t have time for a child, he’d miss having fun with his friends, and he couldn’t stand the idea of changing diapers. Money wasn’t the problem. John thought his life would be somehow ruined by this unwelcome intrusion.

His father treated him like that that’s why John felt this way, and because all his friends (who didn’t have kids themselves) had convinced him that once he had a kid, his life was basically over. He’d be sitting at home, with a crying kid, changing diapers all day.

John’s wife asked his good friend, Scott, to have a talk with him and show him the other side of fatherhood, the good, fun and amazing parts his friends would never tell him. It worked wonders. It completely turned John around, and now he’s the father of two boys, and is the most devoted, doting, and totally involved dad you’d ever want to meet.

Pleased at how well it worked, Scott Kelby, already a writer and author, decided to share the information in a little book called, The Book for Guys Who Don’t Want Kids: How To Get Past The Fear Of Fatherhood. “I wrote this book because there are lot of guys like John who feel a child will ruin their life,” Kelby says. “Often, an unexpected pregnancy causes men to leave their girlfriends, wives or even their fiancés.”

Kelby, in the book, turns fatherhood into a more agreeable prospect by focusing on what guys get from being fathers rather than what they think they’ll give up. Kelby, an ordinary guy in a happy marriage said he absolutely didn’t want to have kids. But when he had his own son, everything changed.

Kelby shares both his personal experiences as a father, and those of his friend, John, who ended up being one of the most engaged dads you’d ever want to meet in order to help change some minds about fatherhood. Kelby helps potential fathers through the process of accepting and eventually welcoming the baby and uncovers the joys of being a dad.

Kelby wrote the book in a fun, lighthearted manner and intentionally made the book short, so it would be a quick read for guys who often don’t have much time to read anything but the sports pages. It’s a welcome introduction to the world of fatherhood.

The Federal Communications Commission has received bizarre complaints about Prince’s Super Bowl half-time performance.

Official moans and groans received by the FCC, following the televised spectacular last month, include one from a man who claimed the performance left him with erectile dysfunction.

Another woman complained she feared Prince’s performance would turn her son gay.

The pop superstar made headlines for a naughty guitar pose he made behind a huge sheet towards the end of his 15-minute performance.

Source: Star Pulse

Viagra
Generic Name: Sildenafil citrate
Manufacturer: Pfizer
Approved By FDA: March 27, 1998
Color: Cooling blue
How Fast Does It Work: The FDA-approved package insert says it takes 30 minutes to 120 minutes, but new studies say it takes less than 15 minutes in most men.
Famous Face: Politician Bob Dole

Levitra
Generic Name: Vardenafil hydrochloride
Manufacturers: GlaxoSmithKline and Bayer
Approved By FDA: Aug. 20, 2003
Color: Orange
How Fast Does It Work: The FDA-approved package insert says it takes 30 minutes to 120 minutes, but new studies say it takes less than 15 minutes in most men.
Famous Face: Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka

Call it getting a rise out of the competition. In its first month of sales, Levitra, the new erectile dysfunction treatment from Bayer and GlaxoSmithKline managed to grab a 50% share of prescriptions in newly diagnosed patients. Sounds impressive, but analysis by Bernstein Research of data from health information provider IMS Health reveals another side to these figures. Viagra maker Pfizer still has well more than 95% of total prescriptions for impotence.

Worse, Bernstein pharmaceuticals analyst Richard Evans sees U.S. sales of only $425 million each annually for Levitra and another erectile dysfunction drug, Cialis, being developed by Eli Lilly and ICOS. Cialis is expected to go on the market early next year. Viagra, which now has U.S. sales of $1 billion, will drop by nearly half.

The new drugs will merely cannibalize the existing market. All three drugs – Viagra, Levitra and Cialis - work by inhibiting the same enzyme, but there are significant advantages to the new entrants. Levitra is a more potent molecule, and it seems to work faster and on a full stomach. (Expect more studies from Pfizer, showing that Viagra works fast and with food, to keep up.)

Levitra also clearly works better in hard-to-treat cases, such as men whose impotence is caused by diabetes. Cialis, on the other hand, clearly works for 36 hours or more, making it an ideal choice for men who are very sexually active. Viagra is still good at treating female sexual dysfunction, a yet-unapproved but potentially lucrative use. Pfizer is five years ahead of the competition in that area.

There’s another advantage for Levitra. Viagra patients have been ordering high-dose pills and splitting them, because all doses come at the same cost. Levitra, a small, hard orange pill, is much more difficult to cut, so at least it won’t have to deal with sales reduced by pill splitting.

Source: Netscape