A Day in the Life of Pip
February 26th, 2007 by 
Eric
Pip is the penis of Philip,46, who lives in Essex with his wife, Elaine, and their children Justine, Jamie and Jasmine.
At half-five, bang Philip’s awake. The first thing he does is a workout of push-ups, squats and situps, which takes about about a half an hour. I find the rush of endorphines gets me going. If Philip has a meeting, it’s nearly always an early start, so I’m usually under the shower and out of the house before Elaine is up. If there’s no meeting, Elaine and I sometimes enjoy some early morning one on one time. Philip and Elaine have been married for 23 years so me and Elaines time together had varied in quality over the years. I still remember how excited I was when they first met.
Philip’s not big on breakfasts. Before he used to just have coffee and cigarettes. Nowadays he makes a lot of effort to eat healthly to counterbalance the stress of his often hectic lifestyle. At the start of this year, he needed to lose two stone following a mild heart scare so he has to watch it on the calorie front – no more of those pints and pies he was so fond of. The young Philip was actually a very fit, athletic man, which was better for me and Elaine. In recent years he developed an unsightly spare tyre around his abdomenon which much to my dismay made me look smaller. This made me less confident and unable to perform to the best of my abilities. I found I lost my ridgity quite quickly and lost all interest in being alone with Elaine. My dispair soon impacted on Philip and Elaine’s marriage. The more withdrawn I became, the less they communicated. Those days are behind all of us now.Philip’s new diet and lifestyle and the occasional dose of the ‘magic blue pill’ has rejuvenated my lust for life and for Philip’s wife.
Most of the rest of day, I daydream and slumber quietly. Sometimes Philip plays squash after work. This makes me slightly anxious due to a sports blow I took several years back that still makes me flinch. But thankfully he has the sense to protect me now.
In the evenings Philip often just wants to put his feet up in front of the telly. But sometimes I drive him to romance Elaine. He might make a romantic dinner. If Philip makes an effort with Elaine, I reap the benfits later on. She may frequently complain about me missing toilet bowel but deep down I know she loves me.
Night time is the most active part of the day for me as each night, I automatically run a self-diagnostic systems check. Philip is generally unaware that this is happening I need to flush myself with fresh blood and oxygen to stay in optimum working condition so I don’t get much sleep. I experience about 5 erections a night each lasting approximately 30 minutes and are often in evidence on waking.
